He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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