her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
