I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
