I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
