Apparently you make a good broom.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
