Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
