good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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