Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I smell like Dick and happiness
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
