hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
