After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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