I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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