How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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