I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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