Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
