her vagine was all disorganized.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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