I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
