we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
