whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
