Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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