How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
