You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
