spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
