I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
