does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
