Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
