is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
