i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
