we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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