Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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