at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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