Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
