I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
