Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
