But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
we have officially lost it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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