At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
How's work?
Spinning.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
