I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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