he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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