what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
