I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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