Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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