yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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