I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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