Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
