He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
