Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Someone stole a lamp last night.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
