Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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