dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
