Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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