Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize