you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
