Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
