I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize