I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
