i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
