I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
