I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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