did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
