six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize