Dual....:-)
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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