did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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